maryk's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- something sweeter than this sin i had the best time i'd had in a long time friday night. i went to see sweet home alabama or whatever with gina dn jos and we ended up going to see SwimFan because we went to sit down and the whole theatre was full for S.H.A. Allyce came over last night and me, her, and Brit watched like half of "From Hell" then Allyce had to take brit home because mom's sometimes a lil bitchy and so she was gettin a huge attitude with me about how she didnt want gabe to take brit home that late. so allyce was a nice nice person and took her home so mom wouldnt be pissy about it. i watched the rest later on that night. tyler called while they were there while the previews were running so we passed the phone around a bit, ha. he hurt himself skate boarding. he stayed out there until like 12 something i think he said though, and i dont think our skate park has very good lighting so that prob. didnt help either. ~ i've just gone "bla" it's like last night i came to a realization that 'fine, if you dont want me then you dont want me, but im not going to talk to you for a while because if i do, then ill get stupid about u not liking me' and its not just with jon. im so so sick of talking about jon. the only people i ever like even mention his name to are kacie and brit, butbecause of that i just go on and on about him. and its so sickening. theres nothing wrong with him. just gives me a sick feeling. the "why?" comes up a lot too. i dont like when people come into your life out of absolutely nowhere, become decently good friends with you, and then fade away when i better gal comes along. kinda sickening. i'll never ask anything but that of your friendship. to any guy. that's all i ever ask for. tyler's the only person who's stayed true to it. im lucky to have a guy like tyler around. he's one of my like closest/best friends. and all we expect out of eachother is a phone call every once in a while, a greeting when we see eachother, a chat when we have time, and a laugh when we say something humorous. but we didnt set those expectations, they came naturally. i guess some guys you just have to work too hard. that's why i've finally started up the process of letting go and straying away from two males. theres nothing wrong with them, i just never feel like i'm good enough when i talk to them or are around them. im sure its not on purpose, but ya know...anyway, i'm getting so sick of this diary. i think ill lock it again. so hurry up and read the entries u didnt ever read because i dont want anyone complaining about me locking it up, ha. no offense. its nice to know people actually take joy in being able to know how i feel and what i feel and how i felt it. kinda nice for people to care once they know too. i gotta get some clotes on and go to church. i think mike and frank said they'd be there. i saw frank at the bowling alley friday night after the movies. mhm l82 "i'm so sick of being sick and tired, i know i can love you, i know that i can...i wanna feel something sweeter than this sin, cover me and please, roll me over again, i've been everybody else but now its time to be somethin closer to my self" 10:15 a.m. - 2002-09-29 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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